the complete index of the omg lessons

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trying to be helpful, i've written (and continue to write) a series that consists/will consist of 100 writings, what i call the 'omg lessons'. mostly written for newbie male subs and female dominants, it's for those who are still figuring things out...or thinking kink and f/m relationships are a foreign country that they don't know how to navigate. from male s-type safety, to making yourself a great submissive partner, to setting up scenes for kinky play, i write my lessons to help others while documenting my own experiences as a female dominant. 

omg lesson#1: how to approach/write to a non pro domme online

omg lesson#2: the male submissive online profile

omg lesson#3: why i can't fix the cluelessness of the newbie male submissive

omg lesson#4: the do me sub (or men who ruin it for actual male submissives)

omg lesson#5: how to be the bestest male submissive ever

omg lesson #6: male submissive safety

omg lesson#7: considerations for those new to bdsm/kinky play

omg lesson #8: where can i hit safely?

omg lesson#9: what? we have to negotiate to play?

omg lesson #10: getting play when you're socially awkward

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omg lesson#11: who said i can't play with myself?

omg lesson#12...stop making consent so complicated. it's easy, really.

omg lesson#13: did you forget your manners at the door?

omg lesson#14: on hard limits, soft limits, no limits

omg lesson#15: what's your risk profile?

omg lesson#16: training is just a kink - links

omg lesson#17: a little something about seeking mentors

omg lesson#18: the mistakes male subs make staying online - links

omg lesson#19: the fallacy of "a dick pic is the best men can do"

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omg lesson#20: writing a decent ad on fetlife (or other classifieds) - links

omg lesson#21: engaging in online groups

omg lesson#22: when you use the term alpha & shit

omg lesson#23 online conversations or 'playing catch'

omg lesson#24: how can i find the dominant of my dreams without any effort?

omg lesson#25...if i wanted a dog, i'd get a dog...

omg lesson#26: why i am not the fucktard whisperer or the idiosyncrasies of fetlife

omg lesson#27: why some people get defensive when you say bdsm is all about sex...

omg lesson#28: when to private message someone online

omg lesson #29: butt hurt, kink shaming, & judgemental people in kinkland

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omg lesson #30: who controls the fuck - having sex with a dominant woman

omg lesson #31...becoming a dominant

omg lesson#32: why i don't have to submit to be a good domme...

omg lesson#33: the trials of a female dominant

omg lesson#34: even dominants have our weaknesses or things that make us go a little weak in the knees...

omg lesson #35: the difference btw me and porn or the difference btw a person and a fantasy

omg lesson#36...i'm only human even if i do want to be your goddess

omg lesson#37: the phenomenon of the vanishing female dominant...

omg lesson#38: dominants are not mind readers

omg lesson#39: being a female outlier in kink

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omg lesson #50: the basics of an s&m scene: smg style

omg lesson#51: the basics of an interrogation scene: smg style

omg lesson#52: the basics of a rough body play scene: smg style

omg lesson#53...the basics of a foot play scene: smg style

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omg lesson#70: dressing up for kink

omg lesson#71: intimate apparel for boys

omg lesson#72: fetish wear for boys

omg lesson#74: crossdressing tips, smg style

omg lesson#75: what the hell is a munch & why do i have to go?  

omg lesson#76: when you shouldn't go to a munch 

omg lesson#77: your first kink event doesn't need to be super scary...

omg lesson#79: if your social anxiety is crippling you...

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omg lesson#80: why kinksters are no better (or worse) than vanillas b/c we're all just people

omg lesson#81: musings on the male dominant and switching...TBA

omg lesson#82: why i'm no longer on fetlife TBA

omg lesson #83: protect yourself b/c kinksters aren't any better at weeding out the shit who come here to hunt TBA

omg lesson#84: why i block online TBA

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omg lesson#85: how do i figure out what i am to just play already?

omg lesson#86: when submission is your fetish and not your label

omg lesson#87: is it okay to just want to submit in the bedroom?

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omg lesson#90: no i'm not your fucking teacher

omg lesson#91: no, i'm not your therapist either

omg lesson#93: no, i'm not the repository of your kinky/wanky fantasies

omg lesson#95: what your entire fetlife profile tells someone about you...

omg lesson#99: female led relationship - smg style...or what's mine is mine. 

omg lesson#100: how to find a domme on fetlife



Comments

  1. Subtley SexyMarch 21, 2024 at 11:49 AM

    I love this list! A friend of yours shared your blog writings with me and I just had to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed reading them. I subscribed to your other blog as well. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. singlemaltgirlMarch 28, 2024 at 4:58 AM

      i'm so glad you're enjoying the reading (and hopefully, your own journey). thanks for the kind words.

      Delete

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omg lesson#76: when you shouldn't go to a munch

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munches are these low key networking events for kinksters. want to know more about munches? lesson# 75 will give you the 411. i regularly suggest munches to newbies who want to meet other kinksters, meet potential partners, and learn more about kink in practical real world terms (ie not porn). but i'm always really clear that they aren't meat markets. i explain they are social gatherings to connect and network. however, in the interests of not inundating poor munch organizers with inappropriate fuckwads, i do think that some people should avoid munches - not just b/c they are basically pissing up a rope when they do - they are potentially messing up the experience for all the other munch attendees.  if you fall into any of the following categories, stay away from munches. like far, far away... 1. you just want to get laid and you heard kinky women were easy. fuck off. you don't get it and likely will never get it. stick with tinder and adultfriendfinder. 2. you want to mee
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omg lesson#1: how to approach/write to a non pro domme online

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first off, i'm going to preface this by saying this is my opinion and my opinion only. i didn't consult with the domme collective and they have neither authorized nor sanctioned this advice. hell, they don't even know i'm writing this so don't tell them... i tend to get a lot of messages. not a lot, a lot but enough that i have replied to my fair share of "applicants". i am not actively looking for a sub play partner but if i was...and in response to the submissive men who keep asking, "how do i approach/write/reach out to a domme?", i'm going to give you a little advice on how you might craft a first message to me. but don't actually do it. cause i'm not looking. instead, use this advice for those that indicate they are looking. ok? you only have one, just one, opportunity to make a good first impression. don't blow it. think with your big head and not your little one. hold your over-eager, enthusiastic, excited little self bac
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omg lesson#2: the male submissive online profile

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ok, i'm not going to lie. the male submissive profile is often considered a wasteland of question marks, porn dialogue and hot air. we dommes complain about it often (you know, at the domme borg collective meetings that don't exist and are ultra top secret....) we also complain about the male submissive photo galleries or online dating profile pix. b/c once you see a dick pic, all you think is, 'this one's a dick'. and move on. sad really. i often wonder about the untapped potential there, though. if you just presented your profile as if you actually liked yourself and were attractive and desirable as a mate/play partner/etc. you might actually get some mileage out of your profile. how does one do that, you ask? oh sit down, and let me tell you the ways... 1) put some care into choosing your dating handle. if it's graphic, porny, or otherwise offensive and designed to be so, you can bet...it's going to offend a lot of women. it's the first impression you
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