omg lessons

it all started when i saw a giant roll of bubble wrap...you know, the kind with the big bubbles and not the little bubbles? i love popping those things. i have, ever since i was a child and we got something in the mail with that lovely stuff wrapped inside. i remember my siblings and i getting all excited about the wrap (and not so much the actual, ahem.. contents of the package ) and my mother would dutifully dole out the scraps 'equally' so we could pop with wild abandon. and i remember her keeping a scrap for herself :) now being the impact player, that i am, i got to thinking about what toys might result in popping those bubbles if say, a person was wrapped in bubble wrap...what would it take? how hard could i hit? would the body cushion the bubbles too much and there would be no satisfying popping sounds? would the sounds of bubbles popping be just as satisfying with a little s&m thrown in?  thus, the idea of a scene was born.  not one of my typical intense scenes. i ...

i am sometimes asked how i plan a scene. b/c i like to plan. i'm pretty weird. i like control and protocol. and i'm a sadist. and some people think sadists don't plan anything. that we just like to use hitty things on people. and anything can be a hitty thing. now while anything can be a hitty thing, my scenes are little more sophisticated than that. seriously, have you not read anything i've written? lol. now mind you, sometimes there are more informal types of play i may do with someone i like and know and there's something very specific we both enjoy. trampling comes to mind. or a bit of foot worship. those aren't full on scenes per se. i don't do a lot of planning for those. i just know what i want to do and will negotiate that prior. what i'm talking about specifically, here, is when i have a 2 hour scene or longer planned, for private play, where i get to control all the variables. or at least i like to think i can control all the variables... ther...

i am sometimes asked how i plan an interrogation scene. b/c i like to plan. be forewarned. my interrogation scenes can get pretty involved but i've simplified it here to the bare essentials. what i've done is planned a 'trial run' first with some of the simpler elements. and then from that 'trial run' i've learned enough to do something more sophisticated, detailed and longer. interrogation scenes can involve many aspects of fantasy and role play. things like abduction/kidnapping, torture, edge play, mind fucks, isolation and some pretty hardcore s&m. it's not for everyone...even if they say they really really want it. the fantasy can override common sense and more importantly, what your partner is actually capable of. i would test elements of an interrogation scene in bite size play dates to see how your partner does and to help negotiate limits and boundaries and capabilities. start with bondage and sensory deprivation. can they handle extreme aspe...

i have never been asked how i plan a rough body play scene, but i'm going to tell you anyway cause i'm adding to my series :) besides, i find few women dominants do rough body play scenes (it always seems to be male dominants doing take downs with female subs) and i saw some amazing stuff this past weekend by women and i want to refer back to this shit at some point. i do find rough body play scenes the ones that require the least amount of planning. instead, i focus a lot of research on anatomy and safely hitting someone (where, how, and so on). i also need to be limber and physically capable playing this way - it's a workout - so keep that in mind. i incorporate punching (closed fist), kicking, mock chokeholds, compression, pushing, shoving, trampling, and overall manhandling (why do they call it 'manhandling'? i want to call it 'womanhandling' but somehow it doesn't have the same ring to it, damnit). rough body play is highly adaptable - you can adjus...

i am sometimes asked how i plan a foot play scene. b/c i like to plan. i like my aesthetics. i like my feet. i like playing with my feet on a willing sub. and while i'm not quite on the level of foot fetishist, there are aspects of form and function to foot play that definitely appeal to me. my foot scenes are not usually just about feet. i usually incorporate elements of s&m, bondage and so on. but i have done a couple of scenes that were focused just with foot play. just an hour of funsies with feet. if, however, you have an aversion to feet, are not into bondage or blindfolds, we likely won't be having a foot play scene. i still might think you're a cool person. if you're a brat and aren't into obedience? yeah, we're never going to play. if every scene you do has to include an element of sex? then we're not going to play. but aside from that, if you like my feet, we might get along fabulously. NEGOTIATION foot play still requires a level of negotiatio...