omg lessons

trying to be helpful, i've written (and continue to write) a series that consists/will consist of 100 writings, what i call the 'omg lessons'. mostly written for newbie male subs and female dominants, it's for those who are still figuring things out...or thinking kink and f/m relationships are a foreign country that they don't know how to navigate. from male s-type safety, to making yourself a great submissive partner, to setting up scenes for kinky play, i write my lessons to help others while documenting my own experiences as a female dominant.  omg lesson#1: how to approach/write to a non pro domme online omg lesson#2: the male submissive online profile omg lesson#3: why i can't fix the cluelessness of the newbie male submissive omg lesson#4: the do me sub (or men who ruin it for actual male submissives) omg lesson#5: how to be the bestest male submissive ever omg lesson #6: male submissive safety omg lesson#7: considerations for those new to bdsm/kinky play ...

so you're taking the plunge and want to attend your first ever kink event. the nerves! the anxiety! the excitement! the anticipation! let's do this... first understand that all events and all communities do not all work the exact same way. there are always some peculiarities  and idiosyncrasies from generally accepted practice and i always suggest hitting up an event organizer prior to an event to ask any questions you have that are not answered in the event description. the following is simply a list of tips and tricks to help you out and help ease your entry, whether it's a munch/slosh, a play party, workshop/demo, convention, discussion group or rope night. 1. people who show up at events are just everyday average people. no better or worse than anyone else. they may still be judgemental as fuck; they could be conservative, traditional, liberal, open minded, close minded, religious, atheist, and whatever else you find in the world around you. just b/c they are kinky does...

the meeting yes, i'm a dominant. and i like submissive men. i seek them out as romantic partners or kinky play partners. but i look for more than just a submissive man. i look for men i like on a personal level cause they are articulate, intelligent, witty and fun. they are in essence, a person that is likeable to me. and what's likeable to me isn't the same for everyone else. that's why searching for compatibility is such a big deal. with me so far? so when submissive men contact dominant women b/c they enjoy similar kinks...that is not enough to get you in the door. i repeat, being submissive and sharing a set of kinks with a dominant is NOT ENOUGH to get you in the door. unless you're willing to pay . then all bets are off and look for those dominants who are interested in tribute and will be happy to indulge in some of your kinks and quirks. but i'm not one of those dominants. just so we're clear. ok? glad we got that out of the way. if you're still ...

i was recently asked what i expected in an flr and i had to think about that one. b/c i have no idea what a typical flr looks like. and frankly, i'm not interested in a 'typical' flr. i just know what works for me and what i expect in my relationships. so first off, i am an intense person. i love intensely and passionately. i don't hold back. it may take me a while to get there...i don't jump into things without careful consideration and assessing compatibility along with that sparky spark (the intangible factor). but once i love, i'm all in. and what's mine is mine. this is one place i. do. not. share. i am also incredibly protective - don't fuck with my people - and i am supremely loyal. if you breach the inner sanctum of my heart, be prepared for a deep well of all the mushy feels. seriously. b/c of the way i love, i think that translates into how i care about my partner - his heart, his health, his spirit, his needs and wants and desires. if i'm...