omg lessons

today boys and girls, we're going to talk about mentors. i read a lot online about people asking for mentors. someone to help them 'learn the ropes' as it were re: kink. however, when you read their questions a little more carefully, you get the distinct impression that they are using 'mentor' as a stand in for 'person who is experienced in kink, who will let me fuck them/play with them while i try my kink stuff out of them or i let them try their kink stuff out on me'. umm, no, grasshopper. that's not what a mentor is. men·tor  /ˈmenˌtôr,ˈmenˌtər/ an experienced and trusted adviser. advise or train (someone, especially a younger colleague). it's someone you can bounce ideas off of. ask how to approach something. learn about the thing you're thinking of doing by talking about it. maybe demonstrating it. not actually doing it to each other. now how would it have gone had you approached a worldly and wise, say, professor in uni to teach you about ...

now if you think back, was there ever a time you played catch? you know, someone throws you a ball, you catch it, and then throw it back? this is the perfect analogy for an online conversation. you've got to throw the first message and have something in there that: makes someone want to play catch with you; if they do decide to play, they have something to throw back; and you keep up the momentum by catching (reading the message) and throwing it back (responding by asking some questions). honestly, an online conversation is really as basic as that. keep in mind, since it's online, people can't see your body language, hear your tone, see you smile or frown. since you're limited to words on a screen, you have to really put all your energies into making those words work for you . first off, know when to private message someone (lesson#) . if you're approaching a domme on fet, i also have some more specific suggestions on writing a first message ( lesson#1 ). so say you...