omg lessons

first off, no one gets something for nothing. whether it's cold hard cash, an emotional investment, or putting yourself out there over and over again, it takes energy and effort to get what you want. things just don't 'land in your lap' or 'appear at your door' without some kind of action (or series of actions) on your part. secondly, many people understand that the various social aspects of kink (munches, play parties, conferences, dungeons, and the like) can be difficult to navigate, break into, and actually excel at. there is real social anxiety, social awkwardness, social fear...and i'm not trying to minimize that in any way. however, if you want to hide behind those fears, that awkwardness, that anxiety - that's your prerogative. it is a choice to do nothing. and you lose the right, imho, to complain how the fact that you do nothing, results in nothing. (and yes, posting an ad/profile on fetlife is basically doing nothing). if you don't get any...

listen, i'm a patient person. i may not have social anxiety, but i get it's a thing. i have friends who try to explain it to me. and i know the extreme efforts they go to, in order to overcome that anxiety and go to events. some even take medication to do it. i am always so impressed that they show up, just to socialize, b/c that's the way to meet kinky people and potentially a partner. but there's still no guarantee and they still continue to get out there. they do not whine endlessly about how a partner is not agreeing to meet them on their terms b/c of their social anxiety or shyness. b/c they understand life is not all about them. what i keep hearing from so many submissive men is they will only, maybe consider an event, if they can for sure meet dommes only. where the dommes at? the most oft quoted reason for being so deliberate about the events they would attend? b/c 'anxiety/shy' and couldn't possibly go to events to meet kinky people of all types. i...