omg lessons

trying to be helpful, i've written (and continue to write) a series that consists/will consist of 100 writings, what i call the 'omg lessons'. mostly written for newbie male subs and female dominants, it's for those who are still figuring things out...or thinking kink and f/m relationships are a foreign country that they don't know how to navigate. from male s-type safety, to making yourself a great submissive partner, to setting up scenes for kinky play, i write my lessons to help others while documenting my own experiences as a female dominant.  omg lesson#1: how to approach/write to a non pro domme online omg lesson#2: the male submissive online profile omg lesson#3: why i can't fix the cluelessness of the newbie male submissive omg lesson#4: the do me sub (or men who ruin it for actual male submissives) omg lesson#5: how to be the bestest male submissive ever omg lesson #6: male submissive safety omg lesson#7: considerations for those new to bdsm/kinky play ...

ok, i'm not going to lie. the male submissive profile is often considered a wasteland of question marks, porn dialogue and hot air. we dommes complain about it often (you know, at the domme borg collective meetings that don't exist and are ultra top secret....) we also complain about the male submissive photo galleries or online dating profile pix. b/c once you see a dick pic, all you think is, 'this one's a dick'. and move on. sad really. i often wonder about the untapped potential there, though. if you just presented your profile as if you actually liked yourself and were attractive and desirable as a mate/play partner/etc. you might actually get some mileage out of your profile. how does one do that, you ask? oh sit down, and let me tell you the ways... 1) put some care into choosing your dating handle. if it's graphic, porny, or otherwise offensive and designed to be so, you can bet...it's going to offend a lot of women. it's the first impression you...

there's more than just your written 'about me' to a profile that some people check out. actually a lot of the female identifying people might pay attention to the entire profile and it's worth keeping in mind. i know it appears people don't even read profiles but i can assure you that as a dominant woman, who talks to her domme friends, we absolutely read the profiles when we're looking/seeking. and we skim more than just the 'about me' part of the profile. as women, we've got our safety in mind so we're checking out the men that might catch our fancy and the first start to that checking you out, is looking at what your entire profile tells us about you.  so there's your 'about me', fetish lists, and the picture gallery which i've written about and given advice about already in lesson#2 . there's also a few other elements you might want to consider what they say about you: groups:  your group choices are listed on your profi...

bloody hell, i have resisted writing this lesson for ages and ages. but i've been worn down. the question comes up relentlessly and i'm tired of answering it in post after post. i'm now just going to link to this lesson. if you've decided you're going to focus all your efforts on using fetlife to find a domme, i gotta say, the odds are against you. not b/c of some fucking ratio nonsense or anything like that. dating is hard. finding a compatible partner is harder. finding a compatible kinky partner is hardest. this should not come as a surprise. and wading through kinky waters...well the pool is that much smaller. kinky people make up anywhere from 10-33% of the general population. and within that small kinky pool, there's a hell of a lot of kinds of kink and not everyone practices d/s and for those that do, it skews heavily to male doms/female subs. so understand the context. i, for one, would not limit myself solely to fet. i would peek under every rock, join ...