omg lessons

only a freely given, enthusiastic 'yes' is a yes. that is consent.   i often come across online groups talking about consent. and if you didn't already know, consent is kinda a big deal around kink. it makes what we do less assault and more like fun/sexy/cool. consensual kink is the ethical kind. of course, this is just my opinion. but it seems really odd to me, how people tend to obfuscate and try to make consent really difficult or tricky or complicated. they bring in situational ethics and questionable practices and ask  about 'where does one draw the line?' and should we be recording consent to 'protect ourselves?' i have some thoughts about this. probably some unpopular thoughts.  like, if you think someone is crazy and likely to fabricate lies and tell tall tales about your intimate times, maybe don't fuck crazy ? or if you don't know a person well enough to understand whether they are giving you enthusiastic consent or they are feeling coerced...

too often, people come into the kink community assuming that this is a whole new world and that all the common sense and lived experiences they've already had no longer apply. that kink is a free for all of indiscriminate and easy sex and no one's gotta act like a civil, decent, human being. but i gotta tell you... all the things you learned about life and people, before you got here, are still relevant. kink people are still people first who just happen to be kinky. they are still looking to be treated with respect, kindness, dignity, and civility.  what you do within a negotiated dynamic may not resemble any of that 'civility' stuff we've gleaned in vanilla land. BUT that's only within a negotiated dynamic. otherwise, the common rules apply. the common rules of social good grace that you've hopefully learned in life in order to interact like a reasonable acceptable human being. when you're interacting online in kink spaces, think of it as just talking ...