omg lessons

i know you may have heard about them. you may have seen the term. but perhaps you were too shy to ask. or the term threw you off. what is a munch? a munch, in the kinky context, is a social gathering of kinky folk in a vanilla setting. there is no pressure to play or dress kinky. in fact, those things are usually not allowed so as not to call attention to the group. it can take place in a restaurant, or pub, or diner or bar. it really is, very vanilla looking to anyone not 'in the know'. and it's simply a chance for kinksters to meet and network with other kinky folk. it's more about getting to know people and having conversations than it is about kink, in and of itself. sure there might be conversations about kink. there may just as easily be conversations about video games, gardening, the local hockey team (yes, i'm canadian), or whatever any other people get together to chat about. not every munch is created equal. not every munch has the same vibe, culture, or t...

so you're taking the plunge and want to attend your first ever kink event. the nerves! the anxiety! the excitement! the anticipation! let's do this... first understand that all events and all communities do not all work the exact same way. there are always some peculiarities  and idiosyncrasies from generally accepted practice and i always suggest hitting up an event organizer prior to an event to ask any questions you have that are not answered in the event description. the following is simply a list of tips and tricks to help you out and help ease your entry, whether it's a munch/slosh, a play party, workshop/demo, convention, discussion group or rope night. 1. people who show up at events are just everyday average people. no better or worse than anyone else. they may still be judgemental as fuck; they could be conservative, traditional, liberal, open minded, close minded, religious, atheist, and whatever else you find in the world around you. just b/c they are kinky does...

listen, i'm a patient person. i may not have social anxiety, but i get it's a thing. i have friends who try to explain it to me. and i know the extreme efforts they go to, in order to overcome that anxiety and go to events. some even take medication to do it. i am always so impressed that they show up, just to socialize, b/c that's the way to meet kinky people and potentially a partner. but there's still no guarantee and they still continue to get out there. they do not whine endlessly about how a partner is not agreeing to meet them on their terms b/c of their social anxiety or shyness. b/c they understand life is not all about them. what i keep hearing from so many submissive men is they will only, maybe consider an event, if they can for sure meet dommes only. where the dommes at? the most oft quoted reason for being so deliberate about the events they would attend? b/c 'anxiety/shy' and couldn't possibly go to events to meet kinky people of all types. i...