omg lessons

this is a companion piece to lesson#10: getting play when you're socially awkward. we often talk about getting out from behind the keyboard and out of your parents' basement and into the great real live kinky world out in the great blue yonder. but...i understand that for many, social anxiety, finding partners, being open about being kinky, can be a tricky, difficult, worrisome challenge. i've written about it b/c it affects quite a few people i know and i try really hard to not only understand their pov but also to support people in taking those steps to get themselves some kinky happy. omg lesson #10   talks about this at length, i hope, from a positive perspective about how to get your kink on when you have other challenges to finding partners. i'm not a coddler. but i do like to be helpful. and i'm always on the look out for options. and then i came across a lovely thread on solo play and thought, et voila! a chance for some people who may not be ready to move f...

you may have seen the questions and asks in various online groups: 'how do i train to be a good submissive?' or, the more ubiquitous, 'i'm looking for someone to train me to be a good submissive'. now some of those men are sincerely asking. are genuinely clueless. have heard about some mythical training and are seeking help. some are straight out wankers but i'm going to ignore those and try to help the ones who don't actually know. there is NO standard or recognized training program to be submissive. 'training' is just a kink. something fun and playful you and your partner can do. no kink shaming here. just a thing you might call a thing, to give it some more oomph . give it the right mental 'feel' that makes something seem 'hot' or 'arousing'. 'training' is not actually necessary to call yourself submissive. you didn't have to present a uni degree or certificate to select 'submissive' as an identifier did...

so i was joshing (is, too, a word!) with a dude on here about some general silliness and i mentioned something that i'm weak about. in that, you know, i sometimes give in to temptation. like chocolate. i'm totally weak when it comes to good chocolate. and i'm not ashamed to admit it. anyway, this dude, kindly pointed out that a certain domly dom of the gorean borg collective would never let someone, who admitted a weakness, ever live such an admission down. which got me thinking... don't we all have weaknesses? i mean, it's a strength of character and an honest and true reflection on oneself to recognize and admit one's failings and personal weaknesses. after all, you can't work on something if you can't admit it needs work, right? or maybe you need to be careful about it. weak spots need to be protected b/c they make you vulnerable. even superheroes had weaknesses in the comic books. superman had his kryponite. wonderwoman could be fucked up by tying he...

now, i will admit that i am pretty ignorant about porn as i haven't actually watched any. i have, however, as a result of being online and having been on fetlife, been exposed to ( exposed being the operative word here) many porn images so there's that. and between the discussions i read and the images i see online, i think i have a pretty good idea of what porn actually consists of and therefore, feel comfortable being able to compare myself to the porn you might be consuming. now, you may be asking, 'why is it important that i know the difference between a porn domme and you, smg?' or alternatively, 'i already know the differences between a porn domme and you, smg. those are obvious.' hey, if you're in the latter camp - awesome. you are not approaching me or other women online as a wanker or fantasist then, and i believe that women online would be appreciative of the way you go about running your online (and fet) experience. you, my little grasshopper, ar...

i have a wee fondness for crossdressers. i honestly don't understand what the big deal is but most crossdressers who 'come out' to their spouses are vilified and shamed. i'm not sure why that is b/c it's just clothes and a bit of a make up and frankly, if you did it for halloween, no one would blink an eye. i just am sorry that so many men seem to have a complex about their crossdressing fetish. i don't think there's anything wrong with it and it's probably one of the most innocuous fetishes i've ever been exposed to. and, i find most crossdressing fetishists are pretty damn respectful of their partner's needs/wants and feelings about their particular fetish. of course, #notallcrossdressers; i'm just speaking from my experience. in any event, some crossdressers do it badly. i'm not talking about sissies, drag queens or those who are actually looking to make a transition from male to female permanently. i'm just speaking of the men who...