omg lesson #35: the difference btw me and porn or the difference btw a person and a fantasy

now, i will admit that i am pretty ignorant about porn as i haven't actually watched any. i have, however, as a result of being online and having been on fetlife, been exposed to (exposed being the operative word here) many porn images so there's that.

and between the discussions i read and the images i see online, i think i have a pretty good idea of what porn actually consists of and therefore, feel comfortable being able to compare myself to the porn you might be consuming.

now, you may be asking, 'why is it important that i know the difference between a porn domme and you, smg?' or alternatively, 'i already know the differences between a porn domme and you, smg. those are obvious.'

hey, if you're in the latter camp - awesome. you are not approaching me or other women online as a wanker or fantasist then, and i believe that women online would be appreciative of the way you go about running your online (and fet) experience. you, my little grasshopper, are doing well :)

for the former...here's the quick guide to help you tell the difference between porn and me. 

and i say these things so you won't confuse me with your porn fantasies b/c...well, i'm not a porn domme and there's lots of ways to tell. really:

• i do not look like a porn star. nope, not even a little bit. i am pudgy and squishy and have a very very imperfect bod and certainly not a conventionally beautiful face. i am not blonde (how many brown people do you know that are naturally blonde? probably not a lot). i have boring brown eyes and i seldom wear make up. it's true.

• i do not allow my lingerie to get torn during sex or play. i've heard this is a big thing in porn. yeah, no. my lingerie is pretty and expensive. i like pretty expensive things. you're not ripping them off. taking them off is one thing, tearing it off is another matter entirely. i don't like it. oh, and while i don't mind hanging out with cross dressers, no, you can't borrow my clothes. don't ask.

• i don't play with random people. i hear this is big in bdsm porn. that a dominant will just spank or hit or tie up a random guy who shows up at her door or something. i don't do that. i negotiate long and hard and get consent. i guess that would be boring to film as part of a porno. but no fun kinky play til i know you really well and we've spent significant time negotiating. so porn = quick instant gratification for kinky play. me = long negotiation and communication before kinky play occurs. see the difference?

• i don't provide fantasy fulfillment on demand. i understand porn stars have a lot more patience for men salivating over them, approaching them clumsily, being idiotic and going gaga over them. i don't have that kind of patience or understanding. i am not flattered by that kind of attention. i play non sexually. i make that clear and i'm upfront about that. so when men start insinuating that's what they are looking for, or they start telling me all their wank fodder fantasies, i get a little....pissed off. i understand porn stars are okay with the fantasists. i am not. don't. fucking. do. it. ok?

• i don't get paid to play and i don't film my play. thus i play with people i like. porn stars, as i understand, are told who they are going to be playing with...and they get filmed doing it...and paid doing it. i do not. and i'm not open to pay for play so please don't ask. hire a reputable pro domme. there's nothing wrong with that. there is something inherently wrong in coming up to me for that.

hopefully, by outlining the above, you can now tell the difference between me and a bdsm porn star - or me and your fantasy domme. and thus, you might stop contacting me to fulfill your wankerish porntastic fantasies b/c well...you can see i'm not a porn domme. right? Right? RIGHT??!?!

and for those that have already have the good sense to realize i am not a porn domme, i thank you.

Dec 8, 2018