omg lessons

now i do wish i could take credit for this lesson but alas, no. this was a comment made by @RunningTheShow (on fetlife) which was so articulate and so spot on, i asked if she would consider making it a writing so i could post it as a helpful link. she invited me to use the comment, instead, as i wished. so full credit to her for the following: many male subs come to fetlife thinking 'being online' takes the pressure off (meeting a domme). if i could get one piece of information out there to male subs it would be this: a shockingly high percentage of you are really bad at online interaction. you gravitate to the scammers and fin dommes because they talk dirty to you just like the pornos do. then you cry about how there are no lifestyle dommes. most of you seem totally unable to discern between a woman with compatible interests and a person who is scamming or selling sex. chasing every prostitute and pornographer account all over fet is a sign that you're in frenzy and not us...

now if you think back, was there ever a time you played catch? you know, someone throws you a ball, you catch it, and then throw it back? this is the perfect analogy for an online conversation. you've got to throw the first message and have something in there that: makes someone want to play catch with you; if they do decide to play, they have something to throw back; and you keep up the momentum by catching (reading the message) and throwing it back (responding by asking some questions). honestly, an online conversation is really as basic as that. keep in mind, since it's online, people can't see your body language, hear your tone, see you smile or frown. since you're limited to words on a screen, you have to really put all your energies into making those words work for you . first off, know when to private message someone (lesson#) . if you're approaching a domme on fet, i also have some more specific suggestions on writing a first message ( lesson#1 ). so say you...

i was recently asked what i expected in an flr and i had to think about that one. b/c i have no idea what a typical flr looks like. and frankly, i'm not interested in a 'typical' flr. i just know what works for me and what i expect in my relationships. so first off, i am an intense person. i love intensely and passionately. i don't hold back. it may take me a while to get there...i don't jump into things without careful consideration and assessing compatibility along with that sparky spark (the intangible factor). but once i love, i'm all in. and what's mine is mine. this is one place i. do. not. share. i am also incredibly protective - don't fuck with my people - and i am supremely loyal. if you breach the inner sanctum of my heart, be prepared for a deep well of all the mushy feels. seriously. b/c of the way i love, i think that translates into how i care about my partner - his heart, his health, his spirit, his needs and wants and desires. if i'm...