omg lessons

sometimes kinky play can be as erotic as going to the gym or playing a sport is to me. it's adrenaline pumping. it's physical. it's exhausting. it's fun. and not the least bit sexual. i don't get aroused. i don't feel all turned on. i'm not even thinking about anything remotely sexual. crazy, i know, right? and for some people, bdsm and sex are inextricably linked. everything kink related that they do....is charged with something sexual. even if the play doesn't lead to sex, they are thinking sexual thoughts. erotic thoughts. for them, everything bdsm and kink and fetish is only sexual. and that's cool. nothing wrong with that. here's where i get a wee bit....pissed off... when other kinksters tell me that all kink is sexual and therefore it must be sexual for me when i play and i'm just in denial about it. or that, my narrow vision of sexual is simply penis in vagina sex so that i don't know what a sexual thought is, or arousal is, or th...

first off, it goes without saying that i'm speaking for me and not all dominant women in the whole wide world. just the one. me. ok? now i have read a few things on online that have made me laugh, wonder, cry and rage about how so called s-type men think that dominant women have to have sex. as if, the sex we have is some kind of weird otherworldly, maybe supernatural kind of sex. some kind of super charged hot kinky sex. and don't get me wrong. sex with this dominant woman can be pretty mind blowing (imho) with the right lover. but i wouldn't describe it as something that most general humans haven't actually engaged in, in some form. maybe not quite how i do it. but it's certainly doable by the average human. just sayin'... this dominant woman thinks of sex purely as the way she would like it to go. in essence, all it means, is that i control the fuck (thank you @domme_chronicles for this lovely turn of phrase). it doesn't mean that it's a particular po...

if you've read some of my posts or my profile, you may have noticed that i have a thing for words. it's more a love affair. i've always been a voracious reader and i love words. i love expanding my vocabulary, letting words roll off my tongue and march across the page. i love words for all kinds of social situations. not surprisingly, i love a man who has an extensive vocabulary and knows how to use it. i love being read to by a man with a melodious voice. great conversation, witty banter all can be one of the sexiest types of foreplay...since it's all about anticipation and imagination. for me, it creates a space of intense desire with the right kind of naughtiness. there are words that definitely turn me on. use the right ones, and i'm aroused in no time flat. i can almost orgasm just with the right dirty talk whispered in my ear and a wee nudge of your fingers...by the same token, there are words that turn me off. i'm not sure why certain words are like a col...

you may or may not have heard the term, 'bedroom submissive'. all it really refers to, is someone who wants to submit when it comes to sex only. and all the other parts of their relationship, they would prefer to keep egalitarian in some way. lots of people talk shit about this topic, but i'm here to tell you... bedroom submission can be a valid approach to submission as long as you're not a submission fetishist  or masquerading as submissive when you're really a bottom .  you can truly desire to submit and be submissive only when it comes to sexual relations with a partner. it can, indeed, be ceding authority to a dominant when it comes to all things sexual and no where else. it's just about finding a partner who also wants and is satisfied to just dominate in the bedroom. unfortunately, bedroom submissives can get a bad rap b/c some men just want to be topped and fucked.  the topped and fucked model goes hand in hand with the  do me subs  phenomenon. i mean, s...