omg lesson #30: who controls the fuck - having sex with a dominant woman

first off, it goes without saying that i'm speaking for me and not all dominant women in the whole wide world. just the one. me. ok?

now i have read a few things on online that have made me laugh, wonder, cry and rage about how so called s-type men think that dominant women have to have sex. as if, the sex we have is some kind of weird otherworldly, maybe supernatural kind of sex. some kind of super charged hot kinky sex. and don't get me wrong. sex with this dominant woman can be pretty mind blowing (imho) with the right lover. but i wouldn't describe it as something that most general humans haven't actually engaged in, in some form. maybe not quite how i do it. but it's certainly doable by the average human. just sayin'...

this dominant woman thinks of sex purely as the way she would like it to go.

in essence, all it means, is that i control the fuck (thank you @domme_chronicles for this lovely turn of phrase). it doesn't mean that it's a particular position (i don't particularly like being on top for piv); it doesn't mean oral sex on me for hours (the one time i've had it, it did nothing for me and honestly, there are many other sexual things i would prefer to be doing for hours, ok?); it doesn't mean you won't get to cum (you will but only after me!); and it sure as hell doesn't mean that sex is me penetrating you (being into pegging is NOT universal).

now, some male s-types reading this might say, 'well that doesn't appeal to me at all' and you know what? that would be totally ok. we all like what we like. if this kind of sex wouldn't turn you on, cool beans. you need to find the sex that will turn you on with a partner that likes to run the sex in a way that you would like.

but don't think that all dominant women want to have sex the way you want it.

because we don't.

we want it the way we want it.

it doesn't make us not a 'real' and 'true' dominant b/c we're not into shit you are into or what you have deemed is credible d/s sex. some of the sex i like seems downright vanilla, sometimes. our preferences, desires, wants, needs, requests and in some cases, demands, are individual, just like all dominant women are. individuals.

the things we have in common? we identify as women and we like to have the authority in our relationships. that's it.

kinky sex is kinky sex. it doesn't mean all dommes want or even like kinky sex.

i take control in my relationships. i take control in the bedroom. i direct the fucking; i control the fucking; i enjoy the fucking. you might, too, if you're interested in fucking me the way i want to be fucked. that's what having sex with a dominant woman means.

if you find a woman who doesn't have sex the way you want, you're not compatible. not that she isn't dominant. not that you're not submissive. it's about finding someone who's into the sexual things you are into. but if you're thinking you can dictate or somehow limit what sex with a dominant woman is like, you're delusional. and until you get your head out of your ass and back to the real world, we likely won't want to control the fuck with you. i sure as hell won't.

ps: don't hit me up for sex. i'm quite satisfied with a vanilla dude who let's me control the fuck every time. and i'm mono so happy with the one dude. just so we're clear...

Jul 14, 2019