omg lessons

trying to be helpful, i've written (and continue to write) a series that consists/will consist of 100 writings, what i call the 'omg lessons'. mostly written for newbie male subs and female dominants, it's for those who are still figuring things out...or thinking kink and f/m relationships are a foreign country that they don't know how to navigate. from male s-type safety, to making yourself a great submissive partner, to setting up scenes for kinky play, i write my lessons to help others while documenting my own experiences as a female dominant.  omg lesson#1: how to approach/write to a non pro domme online omg lesson#2: the male submissive online profile omg lesson#3: why i can't fix the cluelessness of the newbie male submissive omg lesson#4: the do me sub (or men who ruin it for actual male submissives) omg lesson#5: how to be the bestest male submissive ever omg lesson #6: male submissive safety omg lesson#7: considerations for those new to bdsm/kinky play ...

i read a lot of posts from male s-types who are without a dominant but want to know what they can work on to be the best sub ever or to make them more attractive as a submissive to a female dom. first off, forget about being the best submissive for every domme b/c that doesn't exist. every dominant is going to want different things from their subs. some will want sexual stuff. some will want anticipatory service. some will hate all of that. some will want pretty eye candy they can objectify. some will hate subs with beards. some will want a romantic partner. some will want just a play partner. there is no one universal set of criteria that will make you please every domme. and that's ok. instead, for today's lesson, i'd like to focus on you as a person and as a submissive. what can you do to be more attractive as a submissive partner? and here, i'm focusing on the partner bit b/c there are some things that every good partner should consider developing (if they aren...

now i do wish i could take credit for this lesson but alas, no. this was a comment made by @RunningTheShow (on fetlife) which was so articulate and so spot on, i asked if she would consider making it a writing so i could post it as a helpful link. she invited me to use the comment, instead, as i wished. so full credit to her for the following: many male subs come to fetlife thinking 'being online' takes the pressure off (meeting a domme). if i could get one piece of information out there to male subs it would be this: a shockingly high percentage of you are really bad at online interaction. you gravitate to the scammers and fin dommes because they talk dirty to you just like the pornos do. then you cry about how there are no lifestyle dommes. most of you seem totally unable to discern between a woman with compatible interests and a person who is scamming or selling sex. chasing every prostitute and pornographer account all over fet is a sign that you're in frenzy and not us...

so you've discovered online chat groups like those on fetlife, discussing non fiction, real world femdom topics. wonderful! there's a wealth of info in groups and you can learn so much by actively engaging with others in this space. you can get noticed . gain a little cache on a particular site, even. and if you play your cards right, make a few new friends.  there's a few basics we should cover cause i've seen it done badly and i've seen it done well. heck, when i first started, i stumbled a bit and would have liked a bit of how to guide myself. instead, i learned the hard way. got my ass handed to me sometimes.  don't be the clueless me, ok? caveat 1: this advice probably does not apply well to fuck or pass (game) groups or any online classifieds groups. caveat 2: if all you want to do is play in the fuck or pass groups or classifieds groups....it's not a good look and will likely be a detriment in your posting history. just sayin'... with all that out...

so you're taking the plunge and want to attend your first ever kink event. the nerves! the anxiety! the excitement! the anticipation! let's do this... first understand that all events and all communities do not all work the exact same way. there are always some peculiarities  and idiosyncrasies from generally accepted practice and i always suggest hitting up an event organizer prior to an event to ask any questions you have that are not answered in the event description. the following is simply a list of tips and tricks to help you out and help ease your entry, whether it's a munch/slosh, a play party, workshop/demo, convention, discussion group or rope night. 1. people who show up at events are just everyday average people. no better or worse than anyone else. they may still be judgemental as fuck; they could be conservative, traditional, liberal, open minded, close minded, religious, atheist, and whatever else you find in the world around you. just b/c they are kinky does...