omg lesson#13: did you forget your manners at the door?

too often, people come into the kink community assuming that this is a whole new world and that all the common sense and lived experiences they've already had no longer apply. that kink is a free for all of indiscriminate and easy sex and no one's gotta act like a civil, decent, human being. but i gotta tell you...

all the things you learned about life and people, before you got here, are still relevant.

kink people are still people first who just happen to be kinky. they are still looking to be treated with respect, kindness, dignity, and civility. 

what you do within a negotiated dynamic may not resemble any of that 'civility' stuff we've gleaned in vanilla land. BUT that's only within a negotiated dynamic. otherwise, the common rules apply. the common rules of social good grace that you've hopefully learned in life in order to interact like a reasonable acceptable human being.

when you're interacting online in kink spaces, think of it as just talking to vanilla folks about stuff...you might not talk to vanilla folks about. it doesn't mean you stop behaving like a civilized human being. just b/c the topics are kinky...doesn't mean you get to act like an asshat when you're interacting and engaging with people on online. you don't leave your manners at the door before entering. ffs.

and repeat after me:

kinky does not = easy.
kinky does not = promiscuous.
kinky does not = not worthy of human civility.
kinky does not = cheaters/adulterers.

kinky people are...people. no less perfect, judgemental, or somehow better, than vanilla people. we're just people. and people tend to do better with kindness than bitterness. civility rather than rudeness. honesty rather than deceit. don't forget your manners when you come onto fet. badly mannered folks...tend to get shit on. a lot. 

if you want to be be given a fair shot...think about how you'd behave in real life. 

and if in real life, you do badly b/c people think you're a twatwaffle...well then change your behaviour to something more civil and less abrasive to people. that's a basic life lesson. not one just reserved for those in kink.

Jan 10, 2019