omg lesson#90: no, i'm not your fucking teacher

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drcTRzO2wMk&t=9s

the meeting

yes, i'm a dominant. and i like submissive men. i seek them out as romantic partners or kinky play partners. but i look for more than just a submissive man. i look for men i like on a personal level cause they are articulate, intelligent, witty and fun. they are in essence, a person that is likeable to me. and what's likeable to me isn't the same for everyone else. that's why searching for compatibility is such a big deal.

with me so far?

so when submissive men contact dominant women b/c they enjoy similar kinks...that is not enough to get you in the door.

i repeat, being submissive and sharing a set of kinks with a dominant is NOT ENOUGH to get you in the door.

unless you're willing to pay. then all bets are off and look for those dominants who are interested in tribute and will be happy to indulge in some of your kinks and quirks. but i'm not one of those dominants. just so we're clear. ok?

glad we got that out of the way.

if you're still reading...please do not contact random dominant women that enjoy similar kinks to you and think that they will be open to "teaching" you b/c you share a kink in common. we (dommes) tend to like the subs we like b/c we like the person. not their kinks. not their service. we like the person. and if the kinks are compatible....hallelujah!

if your aim is to attract a dominant woman as a romantic/sexual partner, stop using your little head and pay attention. 

reading comprehension is a good thing. respecting what you're reading from dominant women is even better. invading our inboxes without reading, comprehending, or respecting what we're saying....is bad. very very bad. and not bad as in "you've been naughty so you'll be punished". bad as in, "you will never find a dominant that way and you will be frustrated and alone forever". don't do that to yourself.

a submissive partner is still a partner. and my expectations of my partners are that i not train them or teach them. i want them to be a fully functioning adult. i want them to be considerate and thoughtful of my preferences...b/c i'm considerate and sensitive to theirs. how do i know about theirs? i pay attention. i listen. i ask questions and file the info away for later. why do i do this? not b/c they 'trained' me. it's b/c i like them and i want them to be happy. i'd like for my partners to reciprocate that.

when people call it training or being educated, i find it kind of sad. why does caring about me and wanting to make me happy have to be "trained" into you?

maybe it's just words. maybe it's in what we call things. maybe it's not rational to think this way. but i want to feel cared for. listened to. appreciated. supported....just like i do for my partners. i never "train" for that.

it's like saying i need to "train" you to love me. really? then don't bother. i don't want anyone to "learn" to love me. i want them to want to love me b/c they happen to fall in love with the person i am. it's that simple.

still like the 'training idea'? that can be just a kink which i've covered in lesson#16. but stop looking for a teacher for a partner. it's not about a job. it's about a relationship. 

Aug 10, 2018

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