omg lesson#52: the basics of a rough body play scene: smg style

i have never been asked how i plan a rough body play scene, but i'm going to tell you anyway cause i'm adding to my series :) besides, i find few women dominants do rough body play scenes (it always seems to be male dominants doing take downs with female subs) and i saw some amazing stuff this past weekend by women and i want to refer back to this shit at some point.

i do find rough body play scenes the ones that require the least amount of planning. instead, i focus a lot of research on anatomy and safely hitting someone (where, how, and so on). i also need to be limber and physically capable playing this way - it's a workout - so keep that in mind.

i incorporate punching (closed fist), kicking, mock chokeholds, compression, pushing, shoving, trampling, and overall manhandling (why do they call it 'manhandling'? i want to call it 'womanhandling' but somehow it doesn't have the same ring to it, damnit).

rough body play is highly adaptable - you can adjust the swing, the amount of force, and so on quite easily and still get a good workout.

oh, and still cause deep bruises. that's fun for me :)

there are variations on this depending on how fucked up i want to get with someone and how much stamina i (and they) have. think of this as the 'beginner' level rough body play scene to which you can add elements as you like.

now if you've read other writings of mine, you know i love me some bondage and blindfolds. and while blindfolds can still be handy (i'll explain how below), bondage really isn't my thing for this type of scene. i want access, i want your ability to communicate with your body and i want your ability to withstand. i don't particularly like anyone fighting back - you are, after all, going to be my punching/kicking bag for about an hour - but i don't need bondage for this. just an obedient partner.

if you like deep penetrating pain, this might be the kind of scene you might be into.

NEGOTIATION

for a scene, i negotiate well in advance. normally, in my negotiations for this type of scene, i'm really pretty basic. i really just want to punch and kick with abandon. i already know your hard and soft limits b/c, you know, we talk and have talked. those are understood...unless you bring something up that is new you want to explore where you didn't want to before. but we're doing the basics so - hard limits and soft limits i don't touch. i don't even peek at. limits means off limits, to me.

• based on how well i know you, i'm going to take what you've told me and plan my scene. i don't often share what's going to happen - you might have hints from what we've talked about. i'll be asking about the things that you like or the feelings you get from certain kinds of play - where on your body is particularly sensitive, or what gives you that 'good' feeling and so on.

and make sure you cover what aftercare they will need.

PREPARATION

i like to dictate outfit (i don't like random nudity) so that it's not going to get in the way of my punching and kicking. a collar can get in the way. nothing hard like harnesses and jewelry. and you can decide whether you want their hair up or down. i like a little hair pulling myself but you do you, boo.

if you can take some martial arts classes, this is great prep, too. just sayin'....

• the toy bag is easy to pack in this case. my main implement of choice is going to be my body. i will pack gloves (and i recently discovered wraps which i'm going to make use of!) and more safety stuff and water. you'll need to hydrate. so will your sub.

SETTING THE SCENE

i like music but not too loud. i like to chat with my sub during rough body play - mostly to tease and taunt them about what they wanted when they are taking a particularly difficult blow - and checking in for pain thresholds with different kinds of punches and kicks. i need to know how penetrating it is.

• you need space. or i find i do. i need a soft cushiony type floor for the sub (since they'll be lying on the floor for some of the scene) but it still needs to be firm enough to be standing on quite easily. carpet is fine if you put something over it for the sweat. hardwood is too hard for this. if you have mats, that would be ideal.

• i tend to keep lighting to something not too bright - no need to be jarring - but light enough to see your sub and gauge their reactions and you know, see the pretty marks you're making :)

• now blindfolds could be used as a game/mind fuck type thing if you like. you can kick and hit them without them knowing where the hit is coming from. it can be highly amusing to watch them fend off where they think the next blow is coming from. use your imagination :) but for the most part, i leave the blindfolds off for this type of scene.

• i make sure i have my safety bag within easy reach, put on my gloves (or wraps as needed) and have my water bottles handy.

• i also do quite a bit of stretching. i find this is important. as i mentioned, this is pretty physical play. you could hurt yourself. don't do that.

• no bindings or gags mean they have the ability to provide feedback when you check in for pain levels and so on.

THE SCRIPT

i am usually in a very playful mood when i'm doing rough body play. things make me laugh and i can be very teasing - 'isn't this what you wanted?' with a particularly heavy blow and i will invite banter.

• whimpering is good. gasps for breath are interesting. 'oh fuck!' is fun. of course, i want them to bear it stoically till they can't anymore. when i elicit a groan or moan after they've held it in and absorbed all the pain they can as quietly as they can, well, that's soooo rewarding. yes, please. just sayin'...

• the most i do have is a plan of what i'm going to do and figure out what i'm going to say, if anything, as i'm playing. none of this is really scripted. it's just about how you're both feeling and where the play is taking you.

WARMING UP

i know of few people who can just get hit really hard without any warm up. in the prep and set up, i've been warming up all along. and i'm ready to play. my body is ready to play. but it doesn't mean their body is ready to play yet.

• i find lighter hits, sensations and so on allows them to warm up. slowly but surely. settling them into having deeper impact a little later. gradually work up with a bit of punching. i find the manhandling and putting them into position helps frame the scene well. i like that up against a wall at first. and a little hair pulling sets the tone for who's in control.

• above all, you're watching the body. you're watching their ability to take this all in. you're checking in for pain thresholds b/c every part of the body you hit has a different level of pain it can take. you need to know what those are.

PLAY TIME!

this is good old fashioned hitting and kicking. it might look like i'm doing it with abandon, but the warm up told me about pain thresholds and my safety work tells me where i can hit and how.

• i tend to vary my hitting approach. usually i like the softer areas of the body (that are safe to hit - avoid the abdomen and unprotected organ areas, please) since it's cushiony for my fists :) breasts are good. under arms or the soft part of the underside of your arms above the elbow. thighs, ass, upper back (although that can be bony so you may punch differently there).

• if they're up against the wall, this is a good time to reinforce them there with an arm against the throat with gentle but firm pressure while you punch. i tend to save kicking and trampling for when they are laying on the floor. easier target :) the compression of chest can be another element that heightens the hitting. mock chokeholds and hair pulling and shoving and pushing can really add to the feeling of your sub being controlled. and it's fun, too.

• you can simply order them not to resist or you can have a bit of resistance. that's up to you. i tend to order them not to resist although sometimes the body does have it's defense mechanisms so be prepared for that :)

• i might go slow or i might go fast. i can surprisingly keep up a level of impact that's quite long and hard...if i want. but i usually like varying it. i'll check in but it's usually more teasing and making fun of how much it hurts for them and how much they wanted this. i am always watching for reactions to see how they are coping and breathing. they are either getting into it, or fighting to endure it, or just in a position of accepting it. but i'm paying attention. i'm looking for the sweet spots. sometimes it will be about slowing down and tenderly running my hands over where i've just been hitting hard to give them a bit of a breather. and reminding them to breathe.

if it's just one kind of pain, all the time? boring. yawn.

• you can have them on their hands and knees and do some roundhouse kicks on their ass....if you like. again, check on pain thresholds before going to town. you do need to adjust the force and strength you apply depending on their tolerance.

• you can straddle them and go to town on their arms (telling them to put them out to the sides). and if you get tired of punching, you can just lean down on the underside of their arms with your fists pressing your weight down.

• the sides of the breasts (the underarm and just below) tends to be a sensitive spot as well. you don't need to hit super hard to get good reactions there. i vary it up b/c there's no way i can keep up any kind of hard intensity without a break. so softer areas will get attention when i need to ease up (for myself).

COOL DOWN & AFTER CARE

i usually wind down the play and let my partner know when i'm just about done. or i may end sooner depending on how they are feeling. but usually, it's me that taps out before they do given how physically demanding the play can be for me. but i let them know so they can prepare mentally for an end to the scene, too.

• in negotiations, i will have covered after care although i do find that for those new to rough body play, or just a new play partner, you can't always tell how long they will need to process and adjust. water is good. something sweet to snack on might be good. but i find usually time is important.

• i would say you need to plan to stick around a while. sometimes that's just letting them slowly gain equilibrium.

THE DEBRIEF

in any event, if i've planned it right, i've given them the feels they were looking for. this type of scene requires a debrief a day or two later, i find. i always check in after a scene. a few hours after. and the next day. just to make sure everything is ok. and to see if they'll send me pix of the bruises...cause c'mon, i'm still a sadist....

• usually the debrief is about what worked, what they really liked, what they didn't like, and more importantly - did i achieve what i set out to achieve? if i did it right, we both got what we wanted. and so far, fingers crossed, i've mostly succeeded. it helps to have good communicative partners who can describe what they want to feel and are able to give clear feedback without getting needy. i've been lucky to have had some really good partners :)

• and i always debrief. it makes me a better player. and i always want to be better...

oh, and feel free to add comments about how you set your scenes and what you like as part of scenes you've done. i'm always looking for inspiration. and hopefully, this might inspire a few of you!

Oct 14, 2019