omg lesson#19: the fallacy of "a dick pic is the best men can do"

recently, in a femdom group, i came across a question from a domme asking about s-type men's motivation for posting dick pix and most specifically dick pic avatars. several men responded with something similar to this poster:

"Sadly it's the best we can do. Most folks here don't want to post face pics (for obvious reasons), and so are left with few options."

seriously?!?!? what. the. fuck?

sadly, i think plenty of men with the dick pix really believe this. and sure, you can believe whatever you'd like. you can post dick pic as avatars all the live long day on some sites b/c it's within their terms of reference. no one, i think, is saying you can't. the question is more why would you, if your intention is to attract a woman?

if there are men that really feel that's the best they've got or that's the only option (other than a face pic), ok. that tells a woman that the men in question, lack:

• any level of creativity;
• the ability to think;
• the ability to do basic problem solving;
• any rudimentary understanding of their target audience. 

is this really how you want to appear to women? do you really think this is your best look for any woman you want to attract for playing, fucking, or relationshipping? if you do, stop reading now b/c i can't help you. 

the market research will tell you that many many many women online will advise that the dick pic of a rando stranger is a turn off to them. why is the dick pic such a failure in attracting a woman?

failure #1

even though creativity, intelligence and the ability to listen tend to be sexy traits to a woman, these men will persist in failing to demonstrate what women want. dick pix show zero creativity, intelligence, and relegate the entirety of a man's online persona as his dick.

in other words, you're not listening.

many many women say they care about what's between a man's ears. it's not just about what he looks like (although physical attraction can be, and is often, important) but also demonstrating his intelligence. how he posts, what his profile says about him, his posting history....all stuff that actively show these traits that women often say they look for. many many s-type men have zero profile. or their profile is a list of all their fetishes. what they want done to their dick. and that's totally ok. if that's what you want to put up, that's your right. but again, these men are not reading or appealing to their audience. if you're not showing you have a brain and can use it, we tend to not be interested. 

leading with your dick is telling us all you are is a dick. 

failure #2

how to make one's presentation attractive to your target demographic is an important consideration in online dating and seeking compatible play partners. men who lead (and end with) their dick, fail to understand the basics of making themselves attractive and approachable to their target audience. 

back to the market research, many many s-type men indicate that they would like d-type women to approach them. lots of domme women will say they like to do the approaching with men who catch their interest. the thing is, what will catch a woman's attention so she will be interested in making an approach? that's what women who want to be approached do all the time. they appeal to their target audience. they dress and make themselves as attractive as possible.

so what are these men doing as the equivalent to catch the attention of women? how are they peacocking with beautiful plummage so that they might be approached? here's what we get to see of the peacocking dick pix: they are getting their dicks hard in dirty bathrooms, dirty bedrooms, dirty cock cages, dirty mirrors, in unmade beds, in front of dirty toilets (that haven't been flushed or cleaned), and snapping a pic. where's the effort to appeal to their target audience? be pretty for me, baby. your dick ain't doing it.

failure #3

there are many ways, online, to demonstrate the things that will appeal to women, other than just pix. there's the profile, there's online interactions, basically public online behaviour. if all you can think of is your dick as your sole selling feature, you're demonstrating zero effort which translates to lazy which translates into poor partner/fuck buddy/relationship material. 

honestly, this is not to knock s-type men down. i have a series of lessons on my profile to help the clueless newbie who is sincerely struggling with how to work fet to his benefit. and there are plenty of great s-type men who have figured this shit out (or knew all this shit going in) and who are partnered, have play partners, make themselves attractive to women, and are actually approached by dommes. they are doing better every fucking day. they are killing it. and i love celebrating them.

but, the loudest critics of all these easily discernible failures are the men who adamantly hold to their right to not listen to women; to do it their way; and to ceaselessly complain about how there are no 'real' domme women on fet; how 'real' domme women don't approach them; and how fet is filled with findommes, pros, and scammers.

each of their failures are perfect pickings for those offering pay to play services. if you demonstrably don't appeal to women who engage in d/s and f/m play for fun and pleasure, i'm not sure what these men expect?

dominant women want what they want.

if you insist on doing what you want and expecting dommes to accommodate your modus operandi, you're setting yourself up for failure. that's not on dommes. that's not on women. that's on you. they are telling you what they want. if you don't want to give women what they want, why would they bother giving you what you want? they won't. they can live without someone who fails the basics. if that's the best you can do, they don't want you.

and if you really are lacking inspiration, check out my lesson#2: the male submissive profile.

Mar 7, 2020