omg lesson#22: when you use the term alpha & shit

if it were possible for the eyes to roll to the back of my head, they actually would every time i read the word alpha or beta shit on a fetlife post, profile or thread.

if you want me to dismiss you, then by all means, use those terms.

if you don't mind me (and many other dominant women) seeing you as stupid or buying into pop psych or not knowing fuck all about people, then please, as you were. if you like when people think you're a fuckstick in a casual offhand way, keep on truckin' with your alpha and beta terminology.

however, if you genuinely want to ask, 'but why smg are those terms not appropriate to use?' 

the thing is, words do mean things. we no longer draw pictures on cave walls to communicate with one another. we talk. we write. and the words we use all tell people about what we think of ourselves and the world around us. you can use whatever words you wish - i'm not here to censor you - but the words you use will dictate how others see you. how they view you. how they judge you. and we judge. all the time.

let me start with some of the ways i dismiss the terminology:

1. alpha and beta are greek letters of the alphabet.

are you going for the first letter of the alphabet? something basic and ordinary? cuz that's all it is in greek. ancient greek to be exact. and you wanted to be associated with a dead language b/c why?

2. the letter alpha represents various concepts in physics and chemistry. beta represents numerical values.

are you a concept in physics and chemistry or a numerical value? cool story. sure as shit doesn't want to make me fuck you but maybe a mathematician might? unfortunately for you, the world is not made up of mathematicians. and even if it were, there's a great deal to be said for not fucking where you work...

3. alpha, both as a symbol and term, is used to refer to the first or most significant occurrence of something.

ooh, look, you think really highly of yourself. so high in fact, it comes off as arrogance. you're an arrogant fuckstick and that's really really unattractive. hard pass.

4. beta is used in finance as a measure of investment portfolio risk.

so if i was thinking of investing and assessing risk, i'd look at you as some kind of measurement tool? you're some kind of tool, alright. but not one i'm going to be thinking of fucking/playing with/relationshipping with. 

4. alpha has been used to denote position in social hierarchy such as pack leaders. beta is used by incels as a pejorative for 'lesser' males. 

aside from the 'alpha male' as a term for a wolf pack leader having been debunked by the very dude who first coined the phrase, 'alpha' males refer to animals and animal behaviour. i mean, if i wanted a dog, i'd get a dog. and hey, aligning yourself with incel ideology is really not a good look for anyone. truly. lay off that shit. please. 

if you're a human being, i would expect that you have a higher capacity for rational thought and that you operate on more than primitive instinct. using terms like alpha as some chest thumping exercise makes me think 'gorillas in the mist' and while it was a great movie, i'm not interested in 'getting' with king kong, thanks. nor am i interested in getting together with someone who believes or subscribes to any incel ideology about men and women. ugh. 

before you say fet or kink is not about judgement....give your fucking head a shake.

people judge. all the fucking time. b/c they're people.

you just judged my use of the word 'fucking', right? good or bad, you still judged it. i understand that the way i phrase things is absolutely going to be judged and how people will see me. many people will take a hard pass b/c i use fuck quite liberally in my writing. i'm ok with that. if fuck disturbs you, you shouldn't read anything i put out there. seriously.

and when you use alpha, others are going to judge you. and while you're at it, stop using the term beta, too. it's a beacon for judgement.

b/c you are trying to say you are better. that you are somehow special-er than everyone else. you are beating your chest in mock gorilla tones. we all get we're primates (except for the creationists and i'm not even going to go there), but i'd hope that you'd like to be seen as a little more highly evolved than a monkey, no? or you're lesser, inferior, and want to project that identity into the wider world in order to what? attract a mate? when has making yourself look like shit ever attracted a mate that you actually wanted?!?!?

when i see this shit about a submissive man who's 'alpha' during the day but 'longs to come home to submit to a woman at night', what i read is that you somehow think being submissive to a woman, makes you lesser, makes you weak, makes you inferior. fuck that noise. or if he self identifies as 'beta' he's got some deep seated self esteem issues and i'm not interested. 

i'm into submissive men who are strong, masculine and who don't have a chip on their shoulder about their desire to submit to me or shame around submitting to me. if you're a leader in your day job and wish to relinquish the leadership cloak when you come home, fine and dandy. but don't make it out to be that you're a weaker person b/c of it. or that you're not quite a 'man' b/c you want to. we all like what we like.

lord love a duck,  but when i see these terms, i'm out. if you think you're making yourself 'weaker' in order to submit to a woman or you are somehow weaker b/c you want to submit to a woman, what are you saying about women? and if that's the way you see yourself, i sure as hell don't want to see you.

submissive does NOT = beta.
submissive does NOT = weak.
submissive does NOT = lesser/inferior.

and if you think it does, you have some issues you need to address in therapy. no self respecting domme who cares about her subs, is going to want to wade into that or invest in you. 

Nov 24, 2019