omg lesson #66: learning how to avoid 'paying for it' or can you tell the difference?

i've seen many an exchange like this:

female dominant: it's pretty easy to tell the difference between a lifestyle domme profile, fin domme profile, a pro domme profile and a scammer profile....

male submissive: no it's not!

really? b/c it always seems blatantly obvious to me what a legit fin or pro domme profile looks like, what a scammer's looks like and what a lifestyle domme profile looks like (exception: blank profiles since they tell you nothing). but men often are fooled or taken in. i've read more than a few posts/rants by men, quite upset that they feel they've been taken advantage of/or feel pressured to pay tributes. and they get mad at all dominant women.

i would suggest both lesson# 67 and 68 would be good to read b/c it's helpful to work your head around some of these things and besides, reading is sexy. reading to learn and teach yourself is sexier. just sayin'...

anyhoo, in the interests of helping those who can't tell, here are the signs that can tip you off whether you are dealing with a fin domme, pro domme and garden variety scammer. if men want to avoid any of these, what do you need to look for? what are the dead give aways?

1. they tell you in their profile they are a fin or pro domme. do they refer to submissives as 'clients'? yes, it really can be that easy. but perhaps you failed to read the profile in the first place? maybe you'll stop skipping the profile in favour of the pix if it means saving your wallet? maybe?

2. they ask for tribute before you meet with them. or ask for tribute in their opening pm. they ask for tribute in their profile. they say you have to pay for their time. do they have multiple ways to pay tribute - either through gift cards, amazon wishlists, paypal and several other payment methods? there. right there. all those are dead giveaways that perhaps...they are a fin domme or a pro domme.

3. they have a website linked to their profile...that takes you to their pro domme site listing all the services they provide...for a fee. and/or they have all these sexy photos, perfectly curated, and highly fetishized. it's like all your porn fantasies come true! and their profile tells you that for the right price, you can spend some time with them...with the right kind of tribute. that, right there, is a pro domme.

4. if all the groups (or the vast majority of groups) they belong to have words like 'pay pigs', 'money slaves', 'fin dommes', 'financial domination' in the title. chances are, that's their kink and they are a...you guessed it...fin domme.

5. if they contact you first - and you haven't followed any of my advice about your profile, your pix, or making a real effort - beware. woman don't just contact men out of the blue b/c they like the look of your cock in a cage. predators are always on the hunt for 'fresh meat'. when all you do online is click on certain sexy pix; you place ads all over telling everyone you're 'new'; and you follow women's profiles who have no content but sexy photos and lots of porn-y ads and posts, you are basically announcing to the scammers of the world 'pick me! pick me! i'm over here and desperate'. ffs. think with the big head and put the little one away for a moment. these are scammers. clear as day to the rest of us. and if you're fooled...well they target the weak. don't be weak.

6. if their pix are porntastic and they use lots of porn tropey language with you that makes your dick tingle but hasn't really gotten into getting to know you. i know there's the pizza delivery guy that gets laid by a hot woman answering the door in porn. you know that never happens in real life, yeah? it also doesn't happen online. think with the big head, dumb ass. 

in summary: most ethical pros and fins will state upfront what they are looking for in their profiles. if you're not reading the profiles or you feel it's far too much for you to read - you special snowflake you - that's your problem if you're getting duped then, isn't it? you have a responsibility to research what you're getting into. own your own responsibility for your safety and well being.

scammers bait and switch. their schtick is as common as it is predictable. a brand new profile that spams groups, tries to get you to other sites right away or to kik right away? just don't give strangers money online. unless you are paying for a service, just don't. nor do you have to. but hey, if sexy pix are your thing, then think of it as paying for porn. which i hear you can get for free but i guess if you really want to pay for it....? just don't rant about it, ok?

on the other hand, financial domination is a kink. it's not my kink but it is for others and not to be judged so i'm not interested in hearing about how you don't think it's legit. it's legit for those who practice it. and we're not kink shaming here.

pro dommes provide a service. a valuable one for many a submissive man i've met who started their journey with a kind and understanding pro domme. and for those just looking for a fetish dispenser - hey, just pay one that appeals to your porntastic fantasies and leave me the fuck alone. i think pro dommes can be money well spent if you're exploring or trying to figure some stuff out. we're not shaming those in the profession, either. ok?

lifestyle dommes are looking for relationships. maybe play relationships. maybe boyfriend/long term partner relationships, etc. but they want to get into relationships with people they like so they'll want to get to know you and who you are as a person. it's not all kink all the time and they are practical people looking for people they're compatible with. that's pretty easy to spot, too. 

if you don't want to pay for it...don't pursue women who tell you upfront, that you will need to pay for it from them. and as for the scammers - we can all see it. and if you were thinking with your big head, you would, too.

then again, if you want a kink dispenser, chances are you will need to pay for it b/c no self respecting dominant woman is going to give you what you want without getting something in return. we expect respect, decent human beings, relationships with people we actually like. and no, your dick isn't sufficient payment. or oral worship. or whatever the fuck you think the sexual services you could provide could be. ever.

Sep 16, 2018