omg lesson#44: a wee little guide to face slapping

don't ever slap me in the face. i have been slapped as a child and i hated it. and it's amazing that i didn't suffer brain damage or other shit b/c face slapping is fucking dangerous.

however, my childhood trauma does not seem to have affected my desire to slap other people in the face. if someone will consent to let me (ooh yes, please!) it is a surprisingly delightful and intimate experience.

now i wouldn't say you could pull off a whole scene of just face slapping. you could probably do a whole scene with impact, torture and pain to the face and head, however. mmm....i need to think about that some more. but i digress...

face slapping is on a lot of people's hard limits. and that's cool. for good reason. i totally understand (see my opening line). and it can be hard to hide: unless you go around wearing a burka, any marks, bruises, and so on are going to be visible and you may have to explain them somehow. tricksy tricksy.

and there's delicate bits like the eyes and teeth and ears and then there's the whole neck and brain trauma/concussion shit you need to avoid. oh, and don't forget there's the whole taboo bit about slapping people in the face. somehow, it's more personal when it comes to looking someone in the eye while you're hitting them consensually. all that being said...

it can be totally hot. totally unnerving. it can leave a person feeling exposed and vulnerable.

for those open to it, there are ways to do it more safely (not totally, but you know, what things that are fun are totally risk free?) frankly, i love doing it. but i'm a safety girl and so i had to find a way to do it that fit my risk profile. your mileage may vary and all that. to make informed decisions, it's always good to know the risks and what you're comfortable doing. but if you wanted to try...here are some things to look out for:

1. visible marks & bruises. hard to explain away. rings, bracelets, etc. can do some serious damage you didn't intend. take them off. take it all off!!! and while you're at it, watch out for chipped and broken nails. cause scratches are not cool on the face when you don't want to have to explain wtf happened.

2. watch for the teeth. dental work is expensive as fuck. so be aware of any weak points/dental history that may be important to know. and i wouldn't slap them while they were wearing a gag that is hard against the teeth in some way. you could chip a tooth or injure the jaw.

3. dislocating the jaw. yeah, it's possible with a slap. and hard to explain so maybe avoid having to, ok? they don't need to clench their jaw tightly but letting them know and letting them prepare to receive a slap is helpful. surprise can be fun but i would avoid it when slapping someone. just sayin'...

4. neck trauma. if you don't already know, the wrong kind of impact to the head and neck, can cause whiplash and other kinds of weird injuries that may take a day or two to notice. you're not winding up for a home run, here. be wary of a swinging backhand or forehand. go slow. be careful. no whipping the head around. this isn't the time to attempt the head turning exorcist re-enactment. ok?

5. head trauma. concussions and other types of head trauma are weird things. if your partner has nausea, headaches, or experiences double vision after this type of play, get them to a hospital. don't mess about. better to be safe than sorry.

6. perforated ear drum. if you hit the ear and push air into the ear canal, this sudden spike in pressure can cause serious pain, hearing loss, and/or damage the ear drum. my advice? don't hit the ear. aim better.

7. scratched corneas/eye damage. ever get something in your eye? or had a finger stuck in your eye? your eye doesn't like it. and it can take a while to heal and may affect your eyesight temporarily. so watch the eyes, people. don't hit them. like i said earlier, aim better.

8. stay away from the nose. just do. don't ask me to explain. i shouldn't have to.

here's how i approach face slapping:

• i always use my forehand, not the backhand. the forehand is softer and fleshier. bone on bone can not only cause marks but can be a turn off for your bottom and they may never want to do it again. don't break your toys...

• i cup their chin with one hand - firmly, not in a death grip; or i hold their head steady by grabbing a handful of hair. this is to keep the face fairly steady. you're looking them in the eyes and it's natural for them to flinch.

• i aim for the fleshiest part of their cheek - not the jawline and not the cheekbone. we want the soft part as your target. your hand is obviously bigger than your target but aiming is important.

• i tend to like lots of little slaps while i'm saying things to them. little stingy slaps. not winding up at all. my hand doesn't need to move far from the cheek to deliver a few slaps. it's a good way to start and work your way up to heavier slaps.

i'm also not a sadomasochist. i'm a sadist. this means, i don't enjoy pain for myself. and slapping can hurt my hand. i don't like that. so i may often wear gloves (leather is preferred). and if i'm really feeling mean, latex gloves. and sometimes, i'll take the gloves off and slap their face with them. those gloves can deliver some deliciously wicked sting with very little effort on my part.

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i have enjoyed every chance i've gotten to engage in a bit of face slapping. and b/c i've found ways to mitigate the risks, it's allowed me to try some things.

but don't push a bottom/sub to engage in it - it is a hard limit for many people, for a reason. and they don't owe you that reason. so don't neg, cajole or be an asshole about it. but if someone is open to trying it with you....do it carefully and with restraint. they may just enjoy it and let you explore more face slapping and other kinds of face play and that can be a cool adventure all on its own.

Feb 3, 2020