omg lesson#43: on how to foot fetish responsibly

today's lesson is for the foot fetishists in our midst. and as always, this is just one domme's perspective so while this may all work for me, it may not work for every dominant. but i do think i have one or two pieces of wisdom to impart that while not universal, may be standards for the majority of dominants i've come across. b/c, well, we talk. and foot fetishists do come up every once in while.

a few housekeeping things to get out of the way first. and then we'll get to the good stuff :)

not all foot fetishists are submissive and not all submissives are foot fetishists.

this is pretty self explanatory. but lest someone get lost in the weeds, anyone can have a fetish for any body part. i quite like collarbones and legs like tree trunks or eyes...ooh pretty eyes....but i digress. just b/c you have a fetish for a body part doesn't mean that you want to submit to anyone's authority (which is what a submissive is). i know male dominants who are into worshipping a woman's feet. or playing with them at least. doesn't make them any less dominant. they just order their subs to submit their feet to them.

and....there are plenty submissives who could care less about feet. or who don't like feet. or who get squicked by feet. or who will tolerate feet b/c of who they are submitting to. but it's not an automatic yin and yang thing. ok?

not all female dominants want their feet/boots worshipped.

i know, i know, i'm blowing your mind right about now:) but really, not all dommes like it. they could care less about feet. or they don't like their feet. or feet, in general, squick them and they don't want you anywhere near theirs. or they may not want you to play with them, the way you want to play with them. 

which is really all to say, foot fetishes are not universal in femdom. dommes like what they like. they do not subscribe to a pre set script or pre set list of fetishes just b/c you do. got it?

foot fetishists tend to get a bad rap. both online and in real life.

now, this is not b/c the world is against foot fetishists in general. it's about how foot fetishists tend to conduct themselves. i'd like to explain but this video really does illustrate the point so much better than i ever could. watch it. seriously. we'll refer to this video a few times in this lesson. just sayin'...

so why do foot fetishists often come across as creepy?

b/c they treat women as dispensers of feet and nothing else. it's like zeroing in on a woman's breasts. you zone in and stare. that's fucking creepy. and we know you're doing it. and we usually really really find it off putting. like off putting in the way that we want to put as much distance btw you and us as we possibly can as quickly as we can.

don't be that guy.

if you really want just feet and you don't want to get to know the woman behind the feet or make the woman with the feet feel engaged and appreciated, pay for a sex worker and enjoy their feet for how ever long you pay them. what you're paying for is not to have to engage with them as human beings. what you're paying for is your total and complete desire to focus on their feet and nothing else; not them as a person, not them as a partner. you want their feet. and they will gladly take your money so you can do your thing with their feet.

why are foot fetishists often reviled?

b/c they go a little bit overboard. they act like overeager, overly aggressive, and stupid twatwaffles if they are given permission to play with someone's feet. rather than taking it slow and learning what the person in question might like done with their feet, their desperation takes over and they go from 0 to 60 in 1.2 seconds. want to see what this looks like? the video would have aptly demonstrated this.

desperation is never a good look.

slow your roll, dudes. like all things, if you want someone else to enjoy something, you have to make it enjoyable for them. sometimes, it's not possible - if someone doesn't like something, they don't like it. cut your losses and be ok with it or move along. however, if they are willing to try something for you, consider how to make it something that they might be willing to do over and over again. with you.

stop the slobbering and lip smacking.

saliva is not a good look most of the time. i mean, i might like a little drool with a gag but overall, i don't want you slobbering all over my feet. most women don't. even if they like having their feet played with. or might be willing to try having their feet played with. instant turn off. i mean, did you watch the video? some women may like that but it's going to be under certain circumstances with certain people. have some awareness, ok?

my advice? start with a foot rub. keep your mouth away from the little piggies and just offer up a simple foot rub. and don't make all aroused salacious faces while you're doing it, either. try to control yourself, ok? just be cool. and if you don't know how to give a good foot rub, learn about it. learn to do it. seriously. good. skill. to have.

don't go in for dirty smelly stinky feet right away (if that's your thing).

here's the thing. women tend to like to take care of their feet. or, they don't think about their feet all that often. but...even if they don't think about them, they still tend to try to be hygienic. at least most women. and so they don't go around letting their feet stink up the joint. that's embarrassing to us. so chances are, the standard state of our feet is going to be clean or relatively clean and not stinky.

now there's nothing wrong if your kink is dirty smelly feet. but if her kink isn't that....and chances are, it's not going to be, you have to find a compromise. now depending on the woman, you may find one that will let you lick her clean...but that's a long shot. you're in a pool of creeps with a bad rap. finding that one in a million will be...well trying to find that one in a million.

what to do? well introduce the idea that you don't mind if her feet are a little smelly from the end of a long day. that you actually prefer it. without telling her to get them all grubby and stinky, just ask if you could rub her feet after a long day without washing. or....offer to wash her feet (with water!) once you've played with her feet for a bit.

washing feet can be a very sensual experience for her....and you get to play with smelly feet first before having to wash them clean. win/win!

be willing to listen to what she wants & compromise.

now if your fetish needs to be fulfilled in a specific pre-set way and nothing else will do, like i said, hire a sex worker to get your fix every once in awhile. it's about pleasuring yourself and not her and that's the best reason to pay for it.

however, if you want a partner who's into your fetish, you gotta be willing to compromise and listen to what she might like.

here's the thing. i like my feet pampered and played with in certain ways. i like them rubbed. i like slapping them against a man's face or breath play using my feet. i like playing with a cock with them (instead of using my hands sometimes). i like having them kissed (no slobbering though). i like trampling and kicking. i love having my feet washed and dried. i love love love getting pedicures. what i don't like? no toe sucking. no foot licking. and don't you dare try licking my shoes or boots!

now this is just me. other women may have a list of other things. or they may be surprised at what they like if you gently introduce some things to someone who's willing to try things for you. be appreciative.

a partner willing to try things for you is b/c they are fond of you. and thus, you have to get to know them and let them get to know you in order for fondness to occur. so learn to make nice with the person...and maybe they will, in time, let you make nice with their feet.

as with anything, no means no. don't neg, or cajole, or beg or whine or plead. unless she wants you to :)

there are no guarantees in this life. unless you pay for it from a reputable pro. ain't no shame in paying for it. what is shameful is expecting any woman to be a life support system for feet, for you, for free. that's what the video was all about! you watched it, right?!?!?

Oct 21, 2019