omg lesson #70: dressing up for kink

i'm a very visual person. i'm about the aesthetics AND the function. i like things that look hot. cool. dressed up. vivid.

and nudity ain't it. your dick pix ain't it.

now if your dick was encased in leather or latex...i might take a peek.

which is all to say, that we women are not into the skin pix as much as men are. or maybe that's just me? and all my gfs. and all my domme friends. so i can't speak for all women out there. just the ones i know...

don't get me wrong, we may salivate over the occasional 6 pack (not my thing but i've seen it online) and so on. but what we really dig (that is to say, all the women i know - vanilla and kink) is a well dressed man.

now this can take many forms and there are so many situations. so for today's lesson, i am simply going to focus on kink apparel for boys...or men. take your pick. this is a subject near and dear to my heart. i actually did a writing on fetish wear for boys b/c the visual aspects of kink are often what get me in the mood to play (among other things).

want a domme to talk to you? stand out and wear some hot fetish gear. don't go naked. wear something impressive. and she might just want to play with you. at the very least, she'll notice you.

be some pretty eye candy to a domme. we like it. we like it a lot. and by we, i mean me, of course...

1. first the basics. whenever going to a kink event, there are few things to always always keep in mind.

grooming: be clean. tidy. brush the hair. brush the teeth. shower. don't have crusty bits in any places. don't have dirty finger nails. use deodorant. don't forget the errant nose, ear and eyebrow hairs. and ffs, don't bathe in cologne - especially not to cover a stench. if you stink, go wash it off, don't cover it up. clean clothes, clean underwear. 

and before you say, smg, 'that's common hygiene. everyone knows that.' no, no they don't. this is not just my experience. i know dozens of women who could recount stories with similarly badly groomed men. 

it's incredibly off putting. we notice.  just take care of it, okay?

2. if there is the slimmest possibility you might play/bottom: consider what you're wearing and how you're groomed. might you be taking your shirt off? interested in wax play? might be a good idea to take care of some hair. or having clothes that come on and off easily. and clean underwear. yes, i said it again.

different events call for different dress codes. pay attention to the event listing. 

• is it a munch? usually vanilla dress is required. 
• going to a party or workshop? usually vanilla dress to the door and then anything goes inside. or there might be a theme. follow the dress code if provided. if there isn't one and you're unsure, ask.

3. dress for your body type. no one is expecting you to wear super tight clothes if you have a big belly. consider what you'll be relatively comfortable wearing for the duration of the event. if you can't walk or stand in high heels for more than 5 minutes, consider a lower heel. or other pretty shoes like ballet slippers. if you perspire more than most, maybe forego the latex and leather. here are some tips.

4. now for the specifics. keep in mind, this is smg's personal opinion on things. i only solicited the advice of the dommes i know and other female kinksters in the making of this list. but i think it's fairly accurate to say that you'll get some positive attention from some dominant women if you follow these tips. at the very least, you'll stand out for all the right reasons.

• the munch: a vanilla gathering for kinky folk. is it daytime or evening? a bar or a restaurant? jeans are quite alright in this context. not ripped or torn or ill fitting. but jeans will work. in a warmer climate? than knee high shorts will work fine. t-shirts without offensive slogans, that aren't ripped, torn, etc. will work as well. but try to choose a clean dress shirt or even collared polo if you can. but if that's just not your style, choose a t-shirt that is demure rather than over the top. don't be this guy.

and pay attention to the shoes. flip flops may work in cali (without socks!) but then make sure your toes can be shown off. dirty long toenails? no. just no. otherwise, wear dress shoes. or decent canvas shoes. layoff the running shoes and high tops. i don't care how much they cost. money does NOT equal good taste. and i've kindly provided some options here.

• the workshop: probably the most casual get together. comfortable loose fitting clothing is best. you don't want to be constricted here. if you want to volunteer to try something - being tied up, try out some sensation play, or, get waterboarded (hey, i've seen it happen), you want things that come on/off easily and that you can sit comfortably in - sometimes there are chairs, sometimes you are standing to see, sometimes you are sitting on the floor in a rope dojo. and best to wear shoes that come on/off easily. and shoes with socks might be ideal since you might have to take your shoes off and if your feet get cold...socks would be nice. this is the only time when i will say, it's appropriate to wear athletic gear to a kink event - yoga pants, athletic shorts, sport tops, etc.

• at the play party/dungeon: ohhh...my most fave place to dress up. this is where it's at, people. kilts and leather and latex, oh my! this is where you can let your kinky self out. like to cross dress? bring your fabulous dress and heels out. like leather and latex? oh yes, please. got a kilt? for god's sakes', wear it. paired with a set of leather boots? i may objectify you completely for about 5 full minutes. be prepared to be stared at by multiple women if you've done it right. need some ideas? this is when lessons 71 & 72 might come handy :)

keep in mind, you still want to dress for your body type. but i've seen plenty of men without six pack abs, hell, no abs at all, dress fantastically in a kilt and a leather vest and not much else. sometimes, it's in the way you wear something, too. wear it with confidence. not arrogance. just wear something that makes you feel sexy. at the very least, wear some dark dress pants and a dress shirt. and go from there. no ties or suit jackets. although that can be a nice touch. but a dark collared shirt and dress pants will make you noticeable in a good way. and yes, black does go with everything. it's a go to colour if you just can't decide.

5. and if you're just not sure, seek a woman's opinion. hell, seek my opinion. not sure about a range of outfits? as long as you're not showing your cock, i'm happy to help provide a wee bit of advice. post some pix and ask me. i'll respond to polite requests. just don't call me your fucking mistress/goddess, whatever. smg is fine. and one caveat. i hate pink. if that's your colour, don't ask my advice. i'm never going to like it.

but do your research. hit a sex shop or two and try things on. doesn't mean you have to buy anything. but see what's out there. what you like. what feels good on. what looks good on. invest in an outfit or two that you really really like or want. even if you wear it to all the parties, you'll still stand out. and there will always be a compliment or two coming your way if you're open to it. be bold. be brave. and let your kink flag fly at a party. they are all pervs there with you :)

Nov 12, 2018