omg lessons

first off, i'm going to preface this by saying this is my opinion and my opinion only. i didn't consult with the domme collective and they have neither authorized nor sanctioned this advice. hell, they don't even know i'm writing this so don't tell them... i tend to get a lot of messages. not a lot, a lot but enough that i have replied to my fair share of "applicants". i am not actively looking for a sub play partner but if i was...and in response to the submissive men who keep asking, "how do i approach/write/reach out to a domme?", i'm going to give you a little advice on how you might craft a first message to me. but don't actually do it. cause i'm not looking. instead, use this advice for those that indicate they are looking. ok? you only have one, just one, opportunity to make a good first impression. don't blow it. think with your big head and not your little one. hold your over-eager, enthusiastic, excited little self bac

ok, i'm not going to lie. the male submissive profile is often considered a wasteland of question marks, porn dialogue and hot air. we dommes complain about it often (you know, at the domme borg collective meetings that don't exist and are ultra top secret....) we also complain about the male submissive photo galleries or online dating profile pix. b/c once you see a dick pic, all you think is, 'this one's a dick'. and move on. sad really. i often wonder about the untapped potential there, though. if you just presented your profile as if you actually liked yourself and were attractive and desirable as a mate/play partner/etc. you might actually get some mileage out of your profile. how does one do that, you ask? oh sit down, and let me tell you the ways... 1) put some care into choosing your dating handle. if it's graphic, porny, or otherwise offensive and designed to be so, you can bet...it's going to offend a lot of women. it's the first impression you

no one comes to kink knowing all the answers or how to do this stuff. so i can often feel compassion for the newbie male sub, finding his way and picking through porn that has fuelled fantasies which he's not been able to explore in real life. and i kinda think, patience. a little understanding. a little gentle nudge here and there, might help them navigate the kink waters a little better. but i'm beginning to lose my shit with the "cluelessness". getting worn down. getting frustrated. quite frankly, getting angry . and that bothered me. b/c that's not me. i like to mentor. i like to help. i like to empower. i like to fix things. so i've been on a little road of self reflection about my inability to make a difference anymore. and then i came across a post by @MsVerijaa. she has oodles of experience and tends to be really practical about kinky people on both sides of the slash. it goes without saying, i respect her and take the time to read what she writes even

i know that many female dominants complain of the "do me" sub: that special brand of kinky male who invades the inboxes of female dominants with alarming frequency and expresses exactly and often in great detail, how they'd like us to dispense all their fetishes and kinks. and entirely miss the point about being, you know, submissive to a domme. i don't think there's a discussion in any of the femdom groups that i'm a member of, that goes by where the 'do me sub' isn't referenced at some point. they are ubiquitous...wherever male subs and female doms gather, they are there, rearing their heads and telling us how it should all be. my first hand experiences used to frustrate me and now are simply distasteful and ugly. first off, there are no stepford dommes that look and sound like your porntastic fantasies...except in porn. or they're going to cost you a pretty penny. secondly, dominants are people first. they don't actually sit idly by wai

i read a lot of posts from male s-types who are without a dominant but want to know what they can work on to be the best sub ever or to make them more attractive as a submissive to a female dom. first off, forget about being the best submissive for every domme b/c that doesn't exist. every dominant is going to want different things from their subs. some will want sexual stuff. some will want anticipatory service. some will hate all of that. some will want pretty eye candy they can objectify. some will hate subs with beards. some will want a romantic partner. some will want just a play partner. there is no one universal set of criteria that will make you please every domme. and that's ok. instead, for today's lesson, i'd like to focus on you as a person and as a submissive. what can you do to be more attractive as a submissive partner? and here, i'm focusing on the partner bit b/c there are some things that every good partner should consider developing (if they aren

allow me to set the scene. you're a man looking for his first or maybe second opportunity to play with a dominant. you've been chatting online and the messages have been such a turn on. and now, you've arranged to meet. you can't wait. you are physically thrumming with anticipation. this is going to be good. soooo good . you can't wait. you've agreed to all the requirements b/c you are so damn excited. ooohhh yes. you are kneeling and waiting at the appointed hour by the door. you've put on the blindfold and gag and cuffs just as instructed on the last email you received. you can barely contain yourself as you kneel and wait. you hear the door open. you can't say anything b/c of the gag but you try to mumble, "hello mistress". it comes out something like "rrrmmhmmss". no matter. she knows what you mean. you feel her hands on yours, checking the wrist restraints are good and tight and that you can't get out. she checks the gag to m